1. |
El Rey
01:32
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Cuidado, piso mojado
Cuidado, piso mojado
¿Cómo te llamas tu?
Me llamo Diego
¿Cómo estas?
¿Cuál es te número de de teléfono?
Me gusta chalupas
¿Dónde están los baños?
¿Dónde están los baños?
Habla poco Español
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2. |
Slunt
04:59
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Slunt!
Slunt!
This is the battle of Indianburgh
White man is wickeder than Emperor Zurg
He stole our women and he raped all our steeds
He took our sacred home and he just gave us beads
We'll awaken the power from our ancestors' tomb
In a mighty explosion that sounds like this: "BOOM"
Onto the battlefield, our braves run and ride
Down there, the white man will find no place to hide
With Slunt behind us we'll drive them back to the sea
Now chant his name with us that he might hear our plea
We'll awaken the monster from our ancestors' grave
His muscles are brawny, and he's never even shaved
Out on the battlefield our legions lay slain
The white man had his way and he brought us much pain
No warrior rose forth so mighty and tough
Turns out our ancestors just made that shit up
Well, things didn't quite go the way we had planned
They took all our money and drove us off our land
Now our people are impoverished and drowning in booze
I guess sometimes in history, the good guys just lose
They lose
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3. |
Blacktation
04:30
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She listens to T-Pain
She's from the streets
She likes to eat her vegetables, and her fruits and her grains
But not meats
They say she's out to get you
They say she's bad news
They say she's gonna gas you
Like Hitler gassed the Jews
Blacktation...
They say she watches the history channel
Eleven hours a day
But all they play anymore is Pawn Stars
And it sucks, but she watches anyway
They say she's out of line
They say she's messed up in the head
They say she's losing her mind
And that she's better off dead
Blacktation...
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4. |
Drink Me
02:40
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Baby, it's time to get serious
You've got to act your age
It's time to put that bottle down
You've got to drink like the big boys drink
It's time to turn the page
And I'm not gonna mess around.
Why won't you (drink me)?
Why don't you (drink me)?
You need to (drink me)
Why won't you drink me?
You've got to muster your fortitude
Do it, I know you can
It's time to put that bottle down
You are 37 years old
Drink like a real grown-up man
I swear, I'm done fucking around
Why won't you (drink me)?
Why don't you (drink me)?
You need to (drink me)
Why won't you drink me?
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5. |
Asymptote of H8
03:10
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I've got a little bit of what you might call
That Mojo Jojo air about me
I fly solo, I ride so low
(YOLO)
I roll up to the club and I strut like Mojo
When I hop out the car, they move me to the front of the line
And if people complain, I shoot them with a laser from my mind
'Cause baby,
I've got a little bit of what you might call
That Mojo Jojo air about me
My wheels are platinum and my pad is dope
I pretend to live on a volcano with a telescope
I wear a bucket on my head and a purple cape because
I wanna do every single little thing that Mojo Jojo does
'Cause baby,
I've got a little bit of what you might call
That Mojo Jojo FLAIR about me
Mojo...Jojo
Mojo is great, ride the asymptote of hate
Jojo is great, ride the asymptote of hate
This song is great, ride the asymptote of hate
This album's great, ride the asymptote of hate
Knyght Moose is great, ride the asymptote of hate
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6. |
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I'm gonna kick your butt, I'm gonna kick your butt
I'm gonna kick your butt tomorrow
You will never kick my butt
You must forever lick my butt
You think you're powerful, but you're not
(You're stupid, stupid, stupid)
I will whomp your pathetic butt
(I'll whomp it, whomp it, whomp it)
Out on the b-ball court
That's where we'll do it
You're getting your butt kicked
And I'm gonna kick your butt*
I'm gonna kick your butt, I'm gonna kick your butt
I'm gonna kick your butt tomorrow
You will never kick my butt
You must forever lick my butt
Try as you might, you cannot hurt me
(I'm mucho mega macho)
I will tan your regrettable heinie
(And munch you like a nacho)
Out on the tennis court
That's where we'll do it
You're getting your patootie plastered
And I'll be the one living through it
I'm gonna kick your butt, I'm gonna kick your butt
I'm gonna kick your butt tomorrow
You will never kick my butt
You must forever lick my butt
Maybe next time, you'll think before you do me wrong
Maybe next time, you'll remember the words that I sang in this song
Oh, but this time, I'm breaking your face and rupturing your blood
Cry for your mommy, but when tomorrow comes
You know I'll be the one to kick your butt
* [trust me, it's "butt"]
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7. |
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I locked myself in the basement
And I threw away the keys to the door
I left my liver at the bottom of a river
And now I can't drink no more
I used to have a dream, but now I've got nothin'
'Cause my wife won't let me live in my truck
I wrote a letter and I sent it to the president
But the president don't give a fuck
The president don't give a fuck
The president don't give a fuck
The president don't, the president don't,
The president don't give a fuck
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8. |
Nixon
03:13
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Richard Nixon was a scary man
But he did the best he can
Richard Nixon had a taste for steak
All his body parts were fake
Richard Nixon was a sexy beast
Now he's 1500 years deceased
Richard Nixon had a kissable face
Spiro Agnew was from outer space
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9. |
Fabio's Numchuck
04:17
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Fabio's numchuck!
There's no need to worry, there's no need to scurry,
You'll be just fine
I can be the answer,
The Corona or the lemon to your lime
There's no need to sweat and there's no need to fret
'Cause you'll be okay
Never even wonder, if you're going under
You can just smoke that baby
There's no sense in rushing
There's no sense in crushing your hopes and dreams
There's nobody waiting for you
It isn't as hard as it seems
I can be your brother,
I can be your mother, I can be me
If you're feeling glum, or dumb, or bummed
I'll make you smile and be happy, be happy
Fabio's numchuck!
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10. |
Antlers Up
05:33
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When you're feeling blue
And it seems like the whole world is caving in on you
Just forget your problems
And rock with the Moose
When you think you'll drown
In your puddle of misery, death, and despair
Just crank up your stereo
And rock with the Moose
There's a meaning to life, you see, buddy,
And we're dying to let you know
So get off the couch, you Dorito-stained schlub
And buy a ticket to our show
Raise your antlers up,
Raise your antlers high
Raise your antlers up,
Put 'em up to the sky
Bare your teeth like a rabid cannibal
Shake your FIST like a Savage Animal
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your cash to the Moose
Buy our albums and all of our merchandise
Pay the purchase price, hell, you can purchase twice
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your cash to the Moose
I see it burning a hole in your pocket
So fork it over and the Moose will rock it
Buy a t-shirt and then get eleven more
From the officially licensed Knyght Moose store
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your cash to the Moose
Giving to us is like giving to charity
Do you think we would do what we do for free?
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your money to Knyght Moose
We know our music is fun and real funny
But we're not in it to make you happy,
We're in it for your money
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Give your money to Knyght Moose
Let's go!
(And now, testimonials from real members of the Official Knyght Moose fan club...)
You've got to raise your antlers up
You've got to raise your antlers high
You've got to raise your antlers up
Raise them up to the sky
Raise your antlers up
Raise your antlers high
Raise your antlers up
Put 'em up to the sky
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Knyght Moose Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Knyght Moose is a goof-off project from Pittsburgh that has phased in and out of existence in various ways since 2009. Ben, Jake, Paul, Jason, Jon, and Wade have all played stupid things in this band at one point or another and we all demand that you like it. ... more
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